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Most
gay athletes still not ready to tell
A few have come out, but
many Olympians fear reaction and keep secret
 By
David Crary / Associated
Press
ATHENS, GREECE -U.S.
equestrian Robert Dover is among the rarest of
all 10,500 athletes in Athens, not only for his
six Olympic appearances but because he is one
of a tiny handful of competitors who publicly
identifies himself as gay.
Dover - along with some prominent
ex-Olympians who came out after retiring - believe
there are scores of other gay and lesbian athletes
in an array of sports at these Summer Games, either
fully in the closet or confiding only to a small
circle of people.
Gays and lesbians might be able
to marry in a few European countries, and now
Massachusetts, but it's another era on the Olympic
field of play.
Dover, a three-time bronze medalist
who is captain of the dressage team, said many
gay athletes simply want to stay focused on their
performance and worry that publicizing their sexual
orientation could lead to distractions.
"But there also are many athletes
afraid to come out because of their peers, or
their coaches or their loved ones having negative
feelings,'' Dover said. "We have to keep on showing
the world that - just like straight people - we're
going about our lives, doing the very best we
can to make our country and our families proud.''
Mark Tewksbury, who
came out as gay six years after winning a gold
medal for Canada in the backstroke in 1992, says
Dover is lucky to compete in a sport considered
unusually accepting of gays and lesbians.
Swimming - like most other Olympic
sports - is different, Tewksbury said. He recalled
his anguish at lacking the nerve to object, and
reveal his sexual orientation, when teammates
used "fag'' as their insult of choice.
"I got so tired of lying, of
living a double life, I felt like I was going
to die,'' said Tewksbury, 36, who is in Athens
covering the Olympics for the Canadian Broadcasting
Corp. "I was afraid of being beaten up, afraid
my coach would stop coaching me, afraid my teammates
would reject me.''
Tewksbury has become an activist,
campaigning for athletes' rights in general and
specifically promoting programs - such as a planned 2006
OutGames in Montreal-
to encourage gay athletes.
Among his occasional colleagues
is Holly Metcalf, a gold-medalist U.S. rower in
1984. Metcalf, 46, lives near Boston with her
4-year-old daughter and her partner of nine years,
whom she plans to wed now that Massachusetts recognizes
same-sex marriages.
Metcalf said it is unfortunate,
though understandable, that so many gay Olympians
are reluctant to come out.
"It often comes down to financial
considerations,'' she said in a telephone interview.
"You've got so many women moving into collegiate
sports, with a lot more money there now, and you
have lesbian coaches who think, `Oh, my God, if
anybody finds out, I'll get fired.' Colleges don't
want to deal with this.''
Through it all, many gay Olympians
remain cautious - most won't come out until there
are gay gold medalists saying, "Hey, don't be
afraid,'' Metcalf said.
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